Alia Bhatt is so dumb that she thought Pani Puri, Sev Puri are all relatives of Amrish Puri.
Chetan Bhagat: What’s the opposite of IIT?
Alia: U UCoffee.
Arnab: What’s the first name of Modi?
Alia: Abki Baar.
Scene: Alia Bhatt on KBC
Q. Alia, which of the following is the largest?
A. A Peanut
B. An Elephant
C. The Moon
D. A Kettle
Alia: It’s B. An Elephant…
Scene: Boman Irani asks Alia
Boman: Alia do you know MS office?
Alia: If you tell me the address I ll know.
Principal- I tried ur number……
Principal- I tried ur number so many times,
it said switched off..
STUDENT said : ya… it’s my CALLER TUNE
Husband : Honey are you coming along with me for yoga?
Wife : What do you want to say!! I am fat?
Husband : No problem, don’t come if you don’t feel like!
Wife : What do you mean?? Am i lazy??
Husband : Honey .. Why are you getting angry??
Wife : That means i fight with you all the time?
Husband : When did i say that?
Wife : So it means i am lying??
Husband : Okay fine i am not going!!
Wife : I understand everything, actually you didn’t want to go!!
The husband decides to remain silent and goes off to bed!
Teacher: “Why did you laugh?” Boy: “I saw a strap of your bra.” Teacher: “Get out! Don’t come to class for the next 1 week. Another boy laughs…” Teacher: “Why did you laugh?” Boy: “I saw both straps of your bra.” Teacher: “Get out! Don’t come to class for next 1 month.” The teacher bends to pick a chalk and little Johnny starts walking out of the class. Teacher: “Why are you going out?” Johnny: “With what I saw I think my school days are over.”
Teacher: What a pair of strange socks you are wearing, one is green and one is blue with red spots!
Ramu: Yes it’s really strange. I’ve got another pair of the same at home.
Teacher: Shamu, go to the map and find North America.
Shamu: Here it is!
Teacher: Correct. Now, Ramu, who discovered America?
Teacher: Ramu, your composition on “My Dog” is exactly the same as your brother’s. Did u copy his?
Ramu: No, teacher, it’s the same dog!
Teacher: “George Washington not only chopped down his father’s Cherry tree, but also
admitted doing it. Now do you know why his father didn’t punish him?”
Ramu: “Because George still had the axe in his hand.”
Funny Jokes in Hindi Teacher Student Jokes
Teacher = Ravi what is the time period of Akbar the Great as given in your text book.
Ravi = I don’t know miss..
Teacher = Its given as (1567-1601) in the top of the lesson
Ravi = Sorry miss, I thought it was his Phone number.
Teacher = “Which is more important to us, the sun or the moon?”
Student = “The moon”.
Teacher = “Why?”
Student = “The moon gives us light at night when we need it but the sun gives us light
only in the day time when we don’t need it”….
Teacher = Tum math mein fail ho gaye..?
Student = Main kya karta, Aapne hi galat padhaya tha…
Kabhi 4 or 4 aath(8) kaha kabhi 6 or 2 aath kaha or kabhi 5 or 3 aath bataya….
Teacher:- Apney Father Ka Naam Btaao English Mein ?? Student: beautiful Red Underwear………
Teacher: What Nonsense Hindi Mein Btao ??
Student: Sundar Laal chaddaa…………..
- Student : I Don’t Think I Deserve “Zero”In This Answer Paper.
Teacher : I Agreed.you Deserve -1.
- Teacher : Why were you absent yesterday ??
Student : Those who were present have got a government job ??
Teacher :An E.N.T. Professor retired from college. In the farewell college faculty
gifted him a silver ear.
Thanking the faculty the professor said: “Thank god I am not a gynecologist.”
- Teacher: How can we get some clean water?
Student: Bring the water from the river and wash it.
:Math Teacher : How Can You Distribute 8 Apples Among 6 People Equally..??
Student : “By Making
Teacher: Now children, if I saw a man beating a donkey with a stick and I stop him, what virtue would I be showing?
Student: Brotherly love.
Once a teacher with her students went to visit a zoo.
When the teacher saw the lion she told her students that the lion belonged to the cat family.
A watchman heard her and told her that the lion belonged to the zoo not the cat family.
Teacher: anu, can you name five things made up of milk?
anu: butter, cheese, cream——
Teacher: yes, yes go on.
anu: and two cows
Teacher: Because of Gandhiji’s hard work what do we get on 15th August?
Student: A holiday
Teacher: Tomorrow there will be a lecture on Sun. Everyone must attend it.
Raju: No madam! I will not be able to attend it.
Raju: My mother will not allow me to go so far!!!
Teacher: How can you prove it that birds have sharp eyesight?
Student: Teacher, because I have never seen a bird wearing spectacles
Teacher: RAJU HOW WILL YOU DISTRIBUTE FIVE ORANGES EQUALLY TO EIGHT PEOPLE?
RAJU: SIMPLE I WILL FIRST TAKE OUT THE JUICE POUR IT IN EIGHT GLASSES AND GIVE THEM
Teacher (taking an oral test): OK James, tell me how many mangoes will it make if I had 5 mangoes and you give me 2 more?
James: 7, mam.
Teacher: good, now tell me if I have 4 apples and I give you…..
James: Sorry mam but I was absent when you taught the class word problems of apples and I forgot to copy it down from my friend.