Paper se darr nai lgta sahab. . . very funny jokes

 DABANGG STUDENT

Paper se darr nai lgta sahab.

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.Result se lgta hai..

Shahrukh his son Aryan went for Ra.One first day first show. funny jokes

Shahrukh his son Aryan went for Ra.One first day first show.

After half an hour, Aryan says:
Papa ghar chalo na,
Star Gold pe Dabangg ane wali hai..

 


‘Teacher:
“Beta Nisar…!!
Tum kaisay paida hue?”

Nisar:
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.
.
.

” Jawani Jan-e-man
Haseen dil-ruba
Milay 2 dil jawan
Nisar ho gaya. . . :-D’


‘SRK BANNED FROM WANKHEDE FOR FIVE YEARS…………..
Now SRK has to watch matches at the Wankhede from the Income Tax building terrace.
Pehle Uspe Dish Sawaar Tha, Ab Woh Dish Pe Sawaar Hai!!!


Gabbar- Thakur ye mobile humko de de…

Thakur- Ja ja.
Hath pair ki masti thik thi,

Mobile ki masti nahi chalegi,

facebook chalu hai aur Basanti ki mausi ji online hai..


Software Enginers Film banayenge to naam kya hoga-

1) Munna Bhai c++,

2) kabhi CD kabhi floppy,

3) Hamara Mouse apke paas he,

4) Software Mil Gya…

 


 

‘What is the MORAL of these Movies?
JANNAT
DEVDAS
MURDER
FANA
Awarapan
&
TITANIC
Think!
.
Bachi k chkar me jo Pra
wo KUTTY ki mot marra.’


‘Meera to jeweller
“show me defeat of sleep”

Jeweller: kia?

Meera: you idiom! mujhe sonay ka haar dikhao’

Bollywood funny jokes

‘Software Enginers Film banayenge to naam kya hoga

1) Munna Bhai c++

2) kabhi CD kabhi floppy

3) Hamara Mouse apke paas he

4) Software Mil Gya:-P


 

‘RAJNIKANT in Lagaan 2…
Climax scene –
1 ball 24 runs needed.
Bowler bowls, Rajni hits.
ball Splits in 4 pieces…
All pieces go for 6’s…
India wins…!!
Rajni Rocks… England shocks


 

What is the MORAL of these Movies?
Ashiqui 2
JANNAT
DEVDAs
MURDER
FANA
Awarapan
&
TITANIC
Think!
.
.Bachi k chkar me jo Pra,
wo KUTTAY ki moat mara… :p


.
.
.
You Can Call Me Ex,
You Can Call Me Ex,
Mr Ex ?


Why Akshay Kumar’s wife is not a BIG
STAR like him….??
Because”TWINKLE TWINKLE LITTLE
STAR…!”


“ZARIN” aur “KATRINA” dono hi ek jaisi aur gori hai kyun….?
.
.
Kyun ki dono k naam me “RIN” aata hai.
Aur RIN deta hai chokne wali safedi… ?


SALMAN :- main jab shirt utaarta hu to ghar k bahar 100 log jama ho jate hai..
.
John :- 1000 log..
.
Hrithik :- 5000 log..
.
.
sunny Leone :- Ab main kuch bolu

 

India lost test metch

Becuse
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.
.
.
.
.
.
.
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.
.
“Pk”
Is releasing that day.
Sub ne milkar plan banaaya tha anushka
Bhabhi ki film jarur dekhege ? :d

Bollywood funny jokes

Munnabhai in love

Munna bhai: Are circuit apun ko ek nurse sepyar ho gelahai, Letter mein kya likhun??
Circuit: Simple bhai, likhne ka Dear Sister… I Love You!! Tumhara Munna Bhai


On Kolaveri
Q: why dis Kolaveri kolaverikolaveri di?
Pehale ye to patakaro ki melody itnichocolatykyun hai?
Kolaveri di ka pata hum baad me b karlenge


On Bodyguard
Sir: Baccho “BODYGAURD” dekh k kya sikh mili ??
Bache: Sir ye samajh me aya k Ladkiyo ka koi bharosa nahi wo to Security gaurd se bhi Pat sakti hai !!!

On Deepika
Deepika went to Yuvraj , his form dropped , went to Ranbir- his movies flopped… went to Mallyas- & their Airlines stopped..!


On Rajini and SRK
SRK has done a guest appearance in Rajini’s Ra.One


On SRK
Shahrukh and son Aryan went to watch Ra.One first day first show…. After 20 minutes, Aryan: “Papa Ghar chalo!!! Star Gold meinDabbanggAaneko Hein.”

On Rajini
Rajnikanth once wrote a cheque, the bank bounced!


 

 Yash Johar is producing a new film
& is searching 4 new talent.
I’ve suggested ur name.
Pls go & meet him.
The movie’s name is “AQAL HO NA HO”

Bollywood jokes

 Bollywood funny jokes

एक औरत बाबा जी के पास गयी औरत गुस्से में बोली – बाबा जी मेरे 1000 रुपये वापस करो

बाबा – क्यों?

औरत – तुमने कहा था कि शनि का दोष है, इसलिए मेरा बेटा हमेशा फेल होता है,

बाबा – हां बेटी मैंने सही कहा था,

औरत – मैंने शनिवार को व्रत रखा, तेल चढ़ाया फिर भी मेरा बेटा फेल क्यों हो गया?

बाबा – बालिके, मैंने तो कहा था कि सब “सनी” का दोष है

 


 

Bajirao-mastani dekhne ke baad Girlfriend : tumhari life mai to mastani nahi hai na???

Boyfriend : ab ise kaise batau mastani to yahi hai.. kaashi to ghar par hai….

———————————————————-

Bhakt : Meri shadi Aishwarya se kara do.
Bhagwan : Uski ek saree 1 lac ki hai, tu kharcha kar payega.
Bhakt : Koi upay bhagvan
Bhagvan : Mallika Sherawat

———————————————————-

Basanti : Bhag Dhanno bhag, aaj teri Basanti ki izzat ka sawal hai.
Dhanno : Tujhe apni padi hai meri soch jiske peeche GABBAR ke 10 ghode pade hai.   

 

 

dipawali jokes

  • From this Diwali to the next, may our friendship grows fonder, gets more meaningful, experiences rocking parties and ventures into immeasurable joy trips!
    Happy Diwali!

 

 

 

  • During this festival of Diwali, may
    Goddess Lakshmi enters your home;
    Goddess Durga gives you strength;
    Goddess Saraswati bless you with knowledge;
    And Goddess Kali destroy your enemies!
    Have a blessed Diwali!

 

 

  • Santa: How does a married man celebrates a noiseless Diwali?
    Banta: By going abroad?
    Santa: No. By sending his wife to her parents’ place!
    Happy Diwali!

 

 

  • Diwali Advice:
    Please insist on Manmohan Brand firecrackers only for noiseless Diwali!
    Happy Diwali!
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    ph over darkness in your life on this auspicious festival!
    Happy Diwali!

 

 

  • May this festive season dawn a new light in your life; and you enjoy abundant happiness and wealth!
    Have a very happy Diwali

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Aside

Hindi Songs and their Medical Meanings……funny jokes

Hindi Songs & their Medical Meanings:

Jiya Jale Jaan Jale, Raat Bhar Dhuan Chale..
– Fever

Tadap Tadap Ke Is Dil Se Aah Nikalti Rahi..
– Heart Attack

Suhani Raat Dhal Chuki, Na Jaane Tum Kab Aoge..
– Constipation

Bidi Jalayle Jigar Se Piya Jigar Ma Badi Aag Hai..
– Acidity

Tujh Mein Rab Dikhta Hai, Yaara Main Kya Karoon..
– Cataract

Tuje Yaad Na Meri Aayi Kisi Se Ab Kya Kehna..
– Alzheimer’s

Mann Dole Mera Tann Dole..
– Vertigo

Tip-Tip Barsa Pani, Pani Ne Aag Lagayi..
– Urinary Infection

Dil Dhadak-Dhadak Ke Keh Raha Hai..
– Hypertension

Aaj Kal Paaon Zameen Par Nahi Padte Mere..
– Corn On Feet

Haay-Re-Haay Neend Nahi Aaye..
–Insomnia

Batana Bhi Nahi Aata, Chupana Bhi Nahi Aata..
– Piles

And Sabse Mast

Lagi Aaj Saawan Ki Phir Wo Zadi Hai..
– Loose Motion

Hasso Mat, Jaldi forward karo… 😀